Queen of Cocaine

Griselda  Blanco - The Godmother

Many years ago I watched a documentary called " Cocaine Cowboys " on channel 4. It was amazing. I suggest you watch it on utube. It was about the drug cartels in Miami during the 80s.I watched in disbelief as they interviewed the detectives and gang members from that time.I had seen the film Scarface many times and although its a great film I considered it mainly Hollywood fiction mixed with some reality.How wrong was I. This documentary told the real story of Miami in the 80s and it was a lot more violent than Scarface.It was mainly the Colombian drug cartels fighting for control of Miami. You see, Miami was the first stop in America from Colombia and the gangs would fly in there planes loaded with cocaine then distribute the coke around America.This was going on in late 70s and early 80s without any problems.In fact by the time the Americans and Ronald Regan realised there was a problem, they reckon hundreds of millions dollars of cocaine was being shipped in every month.Miami was awash with money, new building were being built with the money and car show rooms were running out of Porches and Ferrari's.It was only when the Colombians began to fight with the other gangs that the true scale of the problem became apparent.There were shootouts with machine guns almost every week on the streets.It was a bloodbath.It was so bad that Ronald Regan had to send in the army to gain control of the streets.Maybe the most surprising thing about this documentary was the revelation that the head of the Colombian cartel was a woman !! " The Queen of cocaine " or the Godmother as she was named.They interviewed one of her hitmen who was in jail for life for the murder of 200 people.He described her as the most ruthless person in the underworld.Many people know of Pablo Escobar as the main man but the people in this documentary all said that she was the top dog.It was her that started Escobar.It was the Godmother that everyone had to go through if they wanted something done.It all ended in death for a lot of these people, but she survived and she was jailed for twenty years aged 46.She served her time in American jails and was released around 6 years ago.When I watched that programme never in a million years would I have thought our paths may cross some day.There I was walking home a few streets from my apartment when I see a crowd had gathered outside a shop, there was a lot of police. I managed to find out someone had been shot and saw the body being put into the ambulance. It was only the next day I was shown the newspaper and it was her.The Queen of cocaine had been shot leaving the butchers and died on the way to the hospital.A man walked up to her and shot her.He then jumped on the back of a motorbike and sped off.People said it was ironic because she was the first to introduce the motorbike hitmen in the 70s.She was 69 years old when she was killed but someone had a score to settle no matter how old she was.They reckon she was responsible for over 300 killings.She named her youngest son Michael Corleone after the film The Godfather, so she enjoyed her reputation.People ask me how safe is this city and I say its fairly safe but if there are any problems they are usually sorted out with a gun.Any bad debts usually end up with a bullet in someones head.Only 3 months ago my friends friend was shot in his car by 4 men on motorcycles. Him and his brother were killed in a hail of bullets.It didn't even make front page of the paper.I asked her if the police had caught anyone.She laughed and said the family of the man killed don't want the police to investigate as it would cause problems for them.They say Hollywood are working on a film of her life now and a movie should be out in the next few years.Jennifer Lopez is tipped to play her.There wont be any need to hype up the violence in this one.
In the words of Shakespere   " revenge should have no bounds "

Paradise Lost

PARADISE

The rainy season had finished just in time for my Sister and her two mates arriving.I got them booked into the hostel in Medellin for a few nights before we flew to Cartagena. The first night they were all a bit tired after the journey,so we had a couple of beers and went for a pizza.This was there introduction to Colombian food.I am not a fan of the Colombian cuisine so pizza and hamburgers where my suggestion most days.I was supposed to book us on the Pablo Escobar tour for the next day but it slipped my mind and it was fully booked.I decided to give them my own tour.I arrived at the hostel to meet them the next morning and we walked the ten minutes back to my apartment to show them where I lived.Medellin is not a good city for sight seeing.In fact there is nothing to see really.A few statues here and there and that's about it.The buildings aren't that nice and the city centre is the most dangerous part of town.Why do I and so many other people like it ? The weather is great all year, the people are friendly and its got good nightlife. I ain't interested in what buildings they have or art gallery's.Not that I don't appreciate a bit of culture its just not top of my list when choosing where to live.We get the bus from my apartment to the city centre, or centro as they say.We could of got a taxi but I think you get a better feel for somewhere when you walk or use public transport.It was a red hot day and the girls looked surprised when I turned up in jeans and trainers.This was the kind of weather that would have made front page of the newspapers in the UK and everyone wearing shorts and flip flops.I explained that no one wears shorts or flip flops in Medellin except gringos who are passing thru.I am not trying to pretend I am a local but I wear jeans and trainers everyday to work no matter how hot it is. I am not a fan of shorts anyway, especially with my horrible legs.Colombians believe that shorts and flip flops are for the beach only.They think its funny when gringos wear shorts and flip flops around the city.The way we think its funny they have mullet haircuts.Its just a culture thing.I am used to getting stared at when I am going about my business, some people make it obvious others a bit more discreet.Even I was surprised at how much my Sister and her friends were getting stared at.They have blonde hair which no one has here and they were dressed in shorts and summer clothes.The girls here all wear jeans and sandals aswell, so a combination of blonde hair and gringo clothes was the reason the stareometor was very high.Centro is a poor area really, its full of people and it can be very dangerous at night.We were there during the day but I still felt it was better I held on to the girls camera as we walked about.We took a few photos ,walked about and then I decided we should head over to Poblado on the metro for some Lunch.This is the rich part of town and everyone looked more relaxed over here.We had a few drinks and lunch and then we headed back to the hostel.That night we had a few drinks at the hostel and there was a few drinking games going on.I left them at the hostel and headed home as I am getting to old for it.After I left they went out with other people from the hostel and got home at 6am.Where had they gone I enquired ? They told me the name of the club but I hadn't heard of it.I found out later the club was in another town outside Medellin.No wonder I had never heard of it.Straight in at the deep end,at least they were alive.The plan to take the metro cable to the nature park at the top of Medellin was cancelled.Lunch was a better option.We flew to Cartagena on the Monday morning and this was new territory for me.There was no point asking me for advice,this was like arriving in another country.We got the taxi from the airport and the first thing I saw was a black woman carrying fruit on her head.You don't get that in Medellin I thought.I noticed there was no meter in the taxi and I knew this was gonna be haggle city.One thing I can say about Medellin is the taxi drivers are sound,they go the quickest way and they always put the meter on.These ratbags didn't even have meters.There wasn't much sun when we arrived but it was hot.I had booked us into a hostel but I didn't check our room had air con.Big mistake.Air con is essential on the coast.I soon realised this and we decided to move rooms the next day.The heat is draining.The Medellin people call the people on the coast ,Costinas, and they all say that Costinas are lazy bastards.Now I know why.I couldn't work in this heat.Every where you walk around Cartagena there are just people sitting around watching the world go by.I have to say its the hottest place I have ever been to.A few people told me that the temp reached 40 some days and I could believe it.We befriended a few people at the hostel and decided to take the 40 minute boat ride to a beach called Playa Blanca and spend the night there with them.We left it a bit late for the official boats so after much haggling we finally got some dodgy looking geezers to take us.These guys could have passed for Somali pirates and at one point before we left the shore I was starting to think things were gonna take a turn for the worse.Boats aren't my favourite and I made sure I was at the front of this speed boat as we headed over to Playa Blanca.This beach is beautiful,white sands ,crystal clear water and nothing there.We stayed the night and the only place to sleep is in hammocks.At 7000 pesos each it was cheap as chips and I slept well.We headed back to Cartagena with the Somali pirates the next day.Cartagena is a beautiful old colonial city with lovely buildings but its a tourist trap also.I didn't get hassled as much as I had expected but there was always someone ready to offer you something.None of the taxi drivers seemed to know where any street was,which was surprising as its so touristy.One driver didn't have a clue where he was going, he stopped and asked about 5 people where to go, then he tried to charge us some ridiculous price he had just plucked from thin air.I told him where to go and he just smiled and halved the fare.Next up was the mud volcano.This is what it says on the tin.A volcano made from mud.Hot slimy mud that you float in.We got the day trip to the volcano which included lunch.You climb to the top of the volcano then you get in it.There are a few locals that are in there giving you a massage if you want.When you get out you have to go to the lake and wash the mud off.There are some local women,very old women ,who wash you down in the lake and you have to pay them 3000 pesos (£1).I walk in to the lake covered in mud, and this very old black woman approaches me.She looks like she is getting on for a 100 years old.Her teeth are yellow, all 4 of them.Her face has more lines than British Rail. She tells me to sit down and starts to wash me.I was hoping for some young attractive lady but there was no chance as each was older than the other.The next thing I know she is whipping my shorts of and trying to clean around my privates.Wooaahh there, this is not on the brochure.I tell her to back off and she flashes me her winning smile.I wash myself off and get my shorts back on.We head to Santa Marta which is 5 hours from Cartagena by bus.The poverty strikes me as quite bad as we pass thru the countryside and small towns.Now I know why Colombia is still classed 3rd world.I was not impressed by Santa Marta as a city.Some of the Colombians I spoke to loved it.It was there favourite city in Colombia.It was a mish mash of old and new buildings and I couldn't get my head round it.The next stop was Parque Tayrona, this was a jungle you had to walk thru to get to a beach.I didn't realise at the time that the walk was about 2 hours.We had the option of hiring some horses for the trek.I am not too comfortable around horses but halfway thru the trek I was starting to wish I had a horse.The beach at the end of the trek was magnificent.You can spend the night there at the campsite but we were pushed for time and spent the day there in the sun.Taganga was another place we visited.Everything I heard and read about Taganga was positive.In fact lonely planet called it gringo paradise.Forget lonely planet, this is Moanly Planet.If you look up paradise in the dictionary it says , an ideal or idyllic place or state.When you mention the word paradise it conjures up images of white sands, blue sea and tropical beach bars etc etc.This was a small shit beach with a manky old fishing village.Maybe I am missing something but this is no Gringo paradise, unless your from Canvey Island then it may well be paradise.We all had a laugh about it as we walked around in paradise.The heat was starting to wear me out a bit and I had had enough as the trip came to an end.We headed back for another night in Cartagena before we all caught our flights back home to Medellin and London.Colombia is like three different countries in one, Bogota, Medellin and Cartagena are all totally different places.You walk down any high street in the UK and they all look the same.In Colombia each city has its own style and culture.As I flew back to Medellin my thoughts turned to work.The work had dried up for me and my visa is running out in 6 weeks.I needed to find more work and sort out my visa.I need something to happen or make a decision soon...
In the words of Laurie Anderson " Paradise is exactly like where you are now........only much better "

Pay as you go........

Show me the money

Its rainy season here in Medellin.It has rained most of March and every day in Aprill.Its not cold and some days are really hot,but its tropical storms when it rains.I have been told it will continue till the middle of May.The big story of the last few weeks has been the American secret service agents with prostitutes in Colombia.I laughed out loud when I heard the story and so did a lot of people.However a few Colombians are not happy as its more bad press for there country.The Colombians are trying to shake of there bad reputation and this hasn't helped them.Barack Obama was coming to Colombia and he would be the first US president in history to stay overnight  in Colombia.This was a big deal as it proved the security in Colombia was now safe enough for a US president to stay overnight.However no one is talking about that they are only talking about the prostitutes.One American airline has used the scandal to promote low cost flights to Colombia.They have a picture of a man in a black suit and shades surrounded by near naked women,with the slogan, more bang for your buck ! The local mayor has demanded an apology.Paul Mcartney recently played a concert in Bogota and this was a big deal for the Colombians as it was another step to showing the world its safe.Madonna is playing a concert here in Medellin shortly.The locals are very excited.No one famous ever comes to Medellin because of the bad reputation, so everyone is really happy she is coming.I don't know how much coverage its getting in the UK but the secret service scandal is massive in the US and its getting lots of coverage here.I can only imagine the girl involved will be pretty famous soon.I have posted a picture of her here.She has her knockers but I think she is nice.Many Gringos arrive expecting to see the streets full of hookers.A lot of Gringos come for this reason and the cocaine of course. The fact its legal means its available easily but like every city there are certain areas you can go to.I haven't seen any hookers walking the streets since I have been here.If you go into the city centre there are men handing out flyer's trying to get you to go to there bar/brothel.I have read a few stories where people have been beaten and robbed when they did enter these places.I have read the same type stories about people in Soho,London.There are also flyer's for girls to come to your house or hotel.These girls are called prepagos or in english pre-pay-gos.Its a polite word for hooker.A bit like the word escort.This is no different from London or any other city.If you want it you will get it.There are some girls working the bars, they just  mingle in with everyone else then try to get some drunk guy to part with his cash.This is the same as Puerto Banus in Spain.Apparently the secret service agents didn't know they were hookers.I mean come on, they are supposed to be the elite.They are supposed to be able to sniff out danger before it happens.If they cant sniff out a few hookers then they shouldnt be in the job.The agent refused to pay her and it all kicked off in the morning.So why has Colombia got this reputation ? Its legal is a big reason, the yanks love coming down here and spending there cash on the girls without getting arrested.The other reason must be the quality of the girls.Lets be honest, the girl involved looks pretty hot now,so she must be stunning after a few Heineken's.The secret service scandal was in Cartagena and I haven't been there so I don't know, but here in Medellin its all pretty low key. No street hookers walking about ,no pimps and no junkies trying to sell you coke.Like I say, if you want it no problem but don't expect to turn up and its on every corner.I think this is one of the reasons the girls are a little wary of some gringos.They know Colombia has a reputation for hookers and cocaine so they think a lot of gringos are here for that only.Something I have seen on the streets near centro is the transvestites.I wasn't expecting that.They are easy to spot.This is no Thailand, where some of them could pass.These ones are horrible scary looking things.I have had no problems with safety since I have been here but something happened yesterday that served as a little reminder.An American was shot dead in one of the hostels in the Poblado area of Medellin.Two Colombians posing as backpackers tried to rob the hostel.The girl on reception only had 20,000 pesos in the money box.They then went in to the Americans room,they asked for his watch ,he put up a struggle and they shot him.Once this news came out then there were reports another hostel had been robbed a few weeks earlier.I have spoke to a few people who have been held up in the street.The only thing you can do is give them what they want.They wont hurt you.Don't struggle and hand over what you have and everything will be cool.Guns are more common here so its not worth the risk.I always put my money in my sock but not all of it.I always leave 20-30,000 pesos to hand over if I get robbed.They will only get angry if you have nothing to hand over.There are plenty of rich people going about there business every day in this city.Things happen you just gotta be prepared if they do.I have only seen one fight since I have been here and that was between two girls.The Colombians love to drink and dance.They will dance with anyone and this could be a mixture for trouble starting. However I haven't seen any trouble.I think the reason for this could be guns.If your going to start a fight then there is a good chance someone in the bar has a gun. The other big news doing the rounds is Shakira.She forgot the lyrics to the Colombian national anthem live on tv.This has not gone down well.The Colombians are very patriotic and she is getting a lot of grief.I am going to Cartagena next month.I will need to find out for myself what exactly those secret agents thinking of.....
In the words of Winston Churchill
 Churchill  " Madam would you sleep with me for five million pounds?"
 Socialite    " My goodness Mr Churchill...Well I suppose....we would have to discuss terms of course "
Churchill   " Would you sleep with me for five pounds ? "
Socialite  " Mr Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am ?"
Churchill " We've already established that.Now we are haggling about the price"

You cant always get what you want.....

When I got offered my first teaching job in Medellin I took it without asking any questions. I was grateful to be offered the job.I had no experience of teaching and I was on my arse.He offered me 10,000 pesos an hour and I gladly accepted.That's not good money but I was glad to be getting experience and get some badly needed cash.There wasn't many hours either and the hours he gave me were all over the place,but it was a start, even if it was the bottom of the ladder. I also think its best to do something instead of nothing.I was working for this guy for a month when he told me there was another company looking for a native speaking English teacher and he recommended me.Thanks very much.He said I was doing a good job for him but he realised he didn't have enough hours for me to keep me going but I could work for him and this other company aswell.I went to see this company who are based in the rich area of town,called Poblado.They offered me the job and pay off 25,000 an hour. Fantastic I was thinking, I have almost tripled my pay.The job was to prepare students for a test called IELTS. The test is for anyone who wants to live or work in Australia,Britain,or Canada.They must pass this test otherwise they wont be accepted.They have to do a listening, reading,writing and speaking test.My new company is the official training partner of the IELTS test in Medellin.I am now the official IELTS preparation teacher for Medellin.Nice one I thought on the bus home,but I ain't got a clue what I am doing.They told me to come back in a few days to go over the itinerary for the course I will be holding. Its a hard test and the students have to be really good at English.I am not teaching them English,its more teaching them how to pass the test.How to write the essays,read quickly and give them mock interviews for the speaking exam.It costs a lot of money to take the test and if you fail you have to pay to take it again.The whole point of the course I am running is to make sure they pass first time.No pressure.I am given a lot of books to read and told to start work next Monday.I swat up on the books but I still don't feel super confident.I am still reading the books when I get the bus to work on my first day.I have to give a presentation with an overhead projector and explain how the course works.My boss tells me not to say this is my first time taking the course "these people have paid a lot of money to take this course and they don't want to hear its your first time ". I had no plans to tell anyone but thanks anyway.There are 5 students and the course is Monday to Friday for 3 hours.It lasts for 3 weeks.The students are a mixture of people, planning to emigrate to Australia, Canada or study in London.We do a lot of mock exams,and I go over where they went wrong.Two of the students asked me for private one to one lessons outside the course. I checked with the company if this was ok and they said no problem.Happy days.I am getting extra work from this aswell.The course went well and everyone seemed happy and more confident about taking the exam.The company said they were happy with my work and would like me to continue working for them.I explained that my visa was running out soon and they said they would help me arrange a work visa.Very happy days.Work visas are not easy to come by and its not easy to stay in Colombia longer than 6 months without one.This has turned out great for me, just by working for the guy with poor pay and lousy hours it led to me getting a good job and a work visa.It just confirms my belief that you should do something rather than nothing.Like Mick and Keef wrote, you cant always get what you want but, well you know the rest.People who wont work because the pay is poor or the hours are not suitable are missing the point, or just don't want to work.Do something and do it well.Even if you don't like it and something better will come of it ,if you want it to.The important part is do it well.If you cant do it well then don't bother because no ones going to offer you something better if have no enthusiasm.My students took the official test at the weekend but I wont find out there results untill the 4th May.I really want them to do well, I have made friends with all of them ,and for a few of them there whole future is resting on getting the correct score.Also its not going to look good for me if they all fail.I am really busy all round now.I work for another school on Saturday mornings and I have built up a few private clients aswell.I want to increase more of my private clients. I think this is where I can make the most money and you are your own boss.I have made some really good friends with my private clients,a few of them invite me to lunch for the lesson.Its not working.How can it be work when an attractive woman invites you to lunch, picks up the tab, pays for the taxi and then pays for your time just talking to her.Another client,who is a wealthy Architect has invited me to his house for diner with his family next week.Something happened last week that made me feel good, it made me realise how times had changed since I first arrived.I got a phone call from a private school I had went to see a few months previous.I had a chat with them and left my CV.They called me up and asked me if I was interested in working for them.Sure I am always interested in work.I arrange for an interview in a few days.I go to see the guy and the interview is fairly relaxed.Like most Colombians he is telling me how great his school is and the work is easy and I will love it here blah blah blah.I am not so wet round the ears now and I am thinking cut to the chase.....whats the pay.He is trying to soften me up so he can offer me low pay.Sure enough he offers me 10,000 pesos an hour.He can tell by my face I am not impressed.He tells me its just a starting price and they will improve it.I explain that its not enough and I would need 17,000 to consider the position.After talking about this and that he says he can offer me 15,000 to start with.I agree on the condition that if he and the students are happy with my work he will improve the pay.We shake hands on the job.Its only 4 hours on a Saturday morning but its 10 minutes from where I live so its good for me.If this was a few months ago I would have bitten his hand off for the work and the low pay.It just felt good not to be feeling desperate and I would of turned him down if he hadn't increased the offer.Now I have tons more confidence in my teaching ability, so I know he will be happy with my work.Its only a few hours with average pay but you never know what it might lead to......
In the words of Charles Schwab " A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm "

He shoots but doesnt score.......

ANDRES ESCOBAR

Its Derby time here in Medellin.El Classico as they call it.I have been to two games this season but this is the big one.Derbys all over the world are intense affairs and judging by what I have seen so far this could be an experience.This game is considered one of the biggest in Colombia.First I need to get a ticket.The game is on a Sunday night at 7pm but the tickets only go on sale on the Thursday.This is so different from back home.All the big games have early kick offs to stop the fans getting drunk all day.This doesn't seem to concern them here.I ask my Colombian friend to get me and the Peruvian Manc a ticket for the south section behind the goal.Are you sure he asks ? Things can get out of hand some times.There is always some trouble it just depends where.Me and the Peruvian manc really want to go.He explains we will have to pay extra as the touts or the gangs as he puts it, buy up all the south section tickets and then sell them for extra.Don't the club stop them from doing this.He explains that people at the club get money from the gangs so there is no way round it.Its just the way it is.Don't even try to buy from the ticket office.How much ? Face value is 18,000 pesos per ticket, we will all have to pay 35,000 per ticket.Ok no problem,lets do it.My adopted team Nacional play in green and white just like my team back home.They also have the biggest support in the city, and they were the first team from Colombia to win the Copa Libertadores back in 1989.This is like the European cup of South America.There is a lot of controversy surrounding the club at this time.Pablo Escobar, the notorious drug baron ,bought the club and was using it to launder his billions of dollars.He began buying up all the best players and paying them silly money.Similar to Man City now.All the players who won the cup were Colombian.There is still talk now that some of the clubs are financed in part by the drug gangs as its the best way to launder money.The Colombian league was cancelled in 1989 because a referee was shot and many say Pablo Escobar was bribing the other refs.The current manager  of Nacional is Santiago Escobar.He is the brother of the player who was shot for scoring an own goal at the world cup in 1994.His brother Andres used to play for Nacional and was from Medellin.He was the Colombian captain and captain of Nacional.He was gunned down outside a nightclub here in Medellin one week after his own goal had eliminated Colombia.The night he was killed, there were 40 other murders in Medllin that night !! So some people say it wasn't related to the own goal.There is a great documentary on you tube called The Two Escobars.Its made by ESPN and I highly recommend it.Its sad and amazing at the same time.It will give you a good idea of what this place was like at that time.Its a warm evening as we meet at our local bar near my apartment.I only live  15 minutes walk from the Stadium.My side of the stadium is the south so there is no  Deportivo Medellin fans, who wear  red white and blue and occupy the north section.We have a few beers and head to the ground.As we get closer the bars and roads are a sea of green and white.I can sense the different atmosphere tonight.People are more excited,theres more people drinking spirits straight from the bottle.I hear a commotion and see fans shouting.A Nacional fan has been arrested and a crowd are shouting at the police.Soon some more police arrive and the van speeds off.We approach the first search point and theres mounted police.I haven't seen these guys before.They look mean.They have no expression as they stare at you.They have huge sticks at there side.My Colombian friend says he has seen them charge and beat people with these sticks many times.I have not seen one opposition fan yet and wonder where the trouble might be if they are separated so well.My friend told me to not wear a belt as they confiscate all belts,and he was right , there is a large bin full of belts they have confiscated.I have been to many derby games back home but never have we had our belts confiscated.We get in 40 minutes before kick off.My friend the Peruvian manc has jet black hair so he can pass as Colombian.I have no hope.We head to the top tier and my Colombian friend advises us to stand to the left of the goals.To the right of the goals is where the band will be ,and also the hardcore fans.These fans are always topless and are basically a gang.They have a banner relating to the Libertadores win of 1989 when Escobar owned the club.When I came before the band were in place.There are no stewards or police in this section.The fans police themselves.Suddenly I can hear the band and there is a buzz in the air.Bang Bang Bang the drum starts the song and everyone to a man starts singing.This is noisy.The band begins to walk thru playing there song, but its not just the band.They are surrounded by lots of men with no shirts on.Dodgy looking men.The sort of men you wouldn't want to mess with. I can tell by the reaction that these people are looked up too by the people surrounding me.My Colombian friend tells me these are the hardcore element.They decide what goes on in this section.What banners are allowed ,what songs are sung, who stands where.There are at least 300 of them and the procession of them and the band takes a good 5 minutes.The hardcore fans are screaming and shouting as they walk past,whipping the crowd into a frenzy.I am only two rows away as they walk past me.I try not to make eye contact.I am the only gringo I can see in this whole section and I feel a wee bit uncomfortable at this point.The band pass and everyone moves back in place.A fan comes over to me and starts talking in Spanish.He is drunk but I get a friendly vibe from him.He is saying welcome to Medellin and is telling me how much he hates the other team.He is shouting and giving the middle finger to the opposition fans.I copy him and this gets a laugh from the other fans around me.A few more start  talking to me and the vibe is feeling a lot more friendly.Suddenly theres a commotion behind me.People are pushing and I get shoved forward.It looks like a fight but its not.The fans are handing out ticker tape and everyone wants one.A few of the fans make sure me and the Peruvian manc get one.There are also green balloons being handed out and white paper.I am told to wait until the teams come out and then we all throw the tape.At the bottom of the stand I can see some of the guys with no shirts have what look like fire extinguishers.This is obviously some kind of some  smoke they are gonna let off.Ten minutes to kick of and we are all squeezed in together.The band is in full flow and everyone to a man is singing.I look at the opposition fans and its exactly the same.Nacional haven't come out to warm up,which I find very strange.The two teams come out and everyone goes mental.The ticker tape and paper is thrown,green smoke is fired out and I cant see a thing for thirty seconds.The noise is deafening and then everyone starts to jump up and down as they sing.The balloon's are being waved and I can only imagine how good it looks.The game kicks off and it doesn't live up to the hype.Nacional were playing in the Libertadores on Wednesday night and they look sluggish.Deportivo are near the bottom of the league and they look like there happy to sit back and hit Nacional on the break.I am more interested watching the fans when I suddenly spot a commotion to the left of me.Some of the Nacional fans are fighting with each other.This is not a good sign.The one thing you can say about the games I go to back home is there is never any fans fighting from the same team.As long as your wearing the colours of my team you are with me.We are all as one no matter who or what you are.I have never seen a fight between the same teams fans.This alarms me greatly and I feel uneasy.The commotion dies down as people are holding each other back and order is restored.The first half has been poor and its heading for nil nil when disaster strikes.Deportivo score a goal with the last kick of the first half.Stunned silence around me as the opposition fans go wild.There is no time to take the kick off as the ref blows for the end of the first half.This is painful as we have to watch the other fans celebrate during the half time break.Everyone takes this as a chance to relax and grab a seat.I notice everyones face is slightly green with the smoke and I imagine mine is too.The players come out for the second half and it all starts again.This is noisier than Ive ever seen it.Theres 5 minutes gone when disaster strikes again and Deportivo Medellin score from a corner in front of there own fans.This is terrible.The Nacional fans are stunned but it lasts only a minute as they are back on it. Again I notice another fight behind me and theres people getting knocked about.There are no stewards or police so any fight seems to be sorted out by the fans.Nacional are attacking the goal we are standing behind and they lay siege to the goal trying to get back into the game.A cross is whipped in and the Nacional forward powers in a header.The place erupts and I get pushed forward a few rows.I manage to stay on my feet but a few people are pushed to the floor.Everyone is going mental and I feel relieved to have survived the celebrations unscathed.Its all Nacional now and they are pounding the goal looking for an equaliser.Again there are a few skirmishes around me and its hard to concentrate.I have one eye on the game and one eye looking out for any one starting some trouble.I was expecting maybe some trouble outside with opposition fans but not my own.The game ends in defeat for Nacional and this has made people very unhappy.A lot of these fans have been drinking all day and the smell of cannabis is strong everywhere.No one leaves for ten minutes after the final whistle as the opposition fans are allowed out first.We head out the stadium and head for the bar near my apartment.We have to walk past the metro station and this is where everyone is hanging about.I can feel the tension in the air.There are no Medellin fans I can see.Suddenly people are running and we get on our toes too.I don't know whats happened but we don't hang around.Me and the Peruvian manc get to the bar which is ten minutes away and order a beer.Our Colombian friend joins us 5 minutes later and tells us its all kicked off.The tear gas is out and the police are bashing a few fans.Not our scene and I am glad we managed to get away in time.This was an amazing derby and an experience I enjoyed.I wouldn't recommend it to everyone as the fighting in the ground made me feel uneasy at times.The next day made me realise that this is serious stuff were dealing with.The newspaper was reporting that a Nacional fan had been shot in the head by another Nacional fan.There were over 300 arrests with 400 weapons found or confiscated, including a gun.Can you imagine if this happened back home, there would be uproar.Its all anyone would be talking about for days or weeks.I mention it to Colombians I know expecting a reaction and all they say is " yes I heard " in a matter of fact sort of way.You can read about it if you google" Nacional fan killed in Medellin".I dont think there is the hatred I get from other derbys I have been to.There is hatred but I think its more the hardcore element looking to cause trouble and others getting involved for the buzz.There is another one in a few weeks.Same time same place.....maybe.
In the words of Carter Burwell " Death is always around the corner,but often our society gives it inordinate help "

You wear it well.....

MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR

One of the first questions, if not the first , I am asked when I speak to my friends back home is about the girls in Colombia.What are they like? So I have decided to write about what I have seen so far. There will be ladies reading this too so its only fair I give them some info on the men in Colombia aswell.But ladies first.I have only been to Bogota for 8 days so I cant really comment on the women there.So this is only really about the women in Medellin.I have been told on the coast there are more black people and the weather is really hot so they may be different there.A lot of women in Medellin who can afford fake tits have got them.Its a lot cheaper to have them done here than most other countries,and the surgeons are of a very high standard I have been told.Apparently fake tits became popular when the drug cartels run the city in the 80s and 90s.The gangsters would pay for all the girls to get them done and its a trend that has continued to this day,except there are very few gangsters around to pay for them now.The all year round hot weather means they wear summer tops,so they are always on show.Tight jeans are standard wear.The tighter the better and it doesn't matter how big there arse is, they are going to wear tight jeans.I am astonished as to how some of them  get there jeans on.Fake arses are something they like to spend there money on.I have seen a few fake arses and to be honest they look ridiculous.I mean you could sit a pint of lager on some of them.All the women have great teeth.They are obsessive about cleaning there teeth.When I first arrived I couldn't help but notice how good there teeth were.I soon discovered that they all carry a toothbrush with them at all times.They brush every time after they eat.I asked them why this is and they just shrug there shoulders and say its normal.Why don't we do it  they would ask back?They have been told from a young age and they just do it automatically.I would say 90% of girls have jet black hair.Long jet black hair ,brown eyes and brown skin.There are a few of them dying it blonde to look more American/European, they are mainly the rich ones.There  is a real mix of indigenous and European genes but some have a more indigenous look.So the picture I am painting is a girl with long black hair,brown eyes ,fake tits,fake arse,nice teeth,tight jeans and a small top !! Well its not to far of the mark but the fake arse is rare.They really do care about how they look,and the beauty trade is a big industry out here. There fashions may be a bit behind or strange compared to ours but the weather is hot all year so they don't need the latest boots or jacket.Tight jeans,summer top and a pair of sandals is the standard issue out here.Its definitely a look that has men talking when they arrive in Medellin.The more affluent areas of town have the designer shops and the rich girls like to wear more of the latest American or European designs.I have only been to Rio in South America and I have to say the women here are just as nice as Rio.I have been told by a few other people that Argentina has the most beautiful women in South America.I cant comment on that but they all say Medellin is not far behind.Medellin people as a whole are very friendly.Strangers will talk to you and help you all the time.The girls are friendly aswell and this can sometimes make you think they like you more than they do.Its natural for a girl to put her hand on your thigh when she talks to you.I was talking to a girl I know and her boyfriend was sitting behind me.She puts her hand on my thigh as shes talking to me. I froze.I am thinking what the fuck are you doing.At least wait till he has gone.I told my yank friend and he just laughed and told me to get used to it.Sure enough they do this. but its just a friendly gesture.A big part of the culture is the music,and reggaeton is big over here.Its sex on the dancefloor.They just do it with complete strangers or each others partners.If this was going on back home two things would happen. 1. There would be a fight with two or more blokes. 2. You would have pulled. Not here.Its just normal.Salsa is massive here and again they will dance with anyone.The moves can be very intimate aswell so it all adds up to a very relaxed attitude.A culture of salsa tends to give the women a more relaxed attitude about there bodies.Its a South American culture.When I go to the gym there are just as many women in the weights area as the men.And some of the women are stunning.The gym I go to now, has the aerobics class joined to the weights section.So you can watch the women thru the glass while you are working out.This just wouldnt happen back home.The women wouldnt have it and the men wouldnt get no training done.Not here.No one bats an eye lid.Its normal for a girls profile picture to be of her in her bikini or in some revealing dress.No one thinks anything off it.So how do you know if she likes you or not ?? Its not easy and it gets harder.Colombian people never like to refuse an invitation.Its part of there culture they cant say no to your face.They would rather accept then text you later and say they are busy.The women are the same.They will tell you yeah I will meet you or I want to come to dinner with you rather than say no I have a boyfriend.Its crazy.When I was staying at the hostel most guys are staying for 3 or 4 days so there plan is to go out and pull before they leave town.When I was working at the bar, I lost count of the number of guys who got stood up or thought they were well in because some girl was dancing reggaeton with him the night before.Only to receive a text the next day from the girl to say she was busy.This is not to say they don't like gringos, they definitely do.Just don't expect to turn up and they are going to fall all over you.Not straight away.They know most guys are passing through for a few days so they are happy to dance and talk with you but they wont jump into bed with you because your a gringo.There are always a few exceptions but its not the norm.They are not hanging around waiting for some gringo dude to show up and rescue them from a life of misery.They enjoy there life, they love there city and they have boyfriends.My friend the Peruvian manc has a Colombian girlfriend who is 22.He had been going out with her for a couple of weeks and she wouldn't stay the night at his apartment.She told him he had to ask her dad first if she could stay over.So he had to go to the house and ask her dad.He speaks perfect Spanish but it was hilarious when he told me.They definitely like it if you look different.We all like to try something different now and then and they are the same.If you have blonde hair its definitely an advantage for pulling,so grow it long.Any colour hair thats not black is an advantage.Blue and green eyes are a big advantage also.They are non existent out here so they are fascinated when they see them.If you like the Latin look then you wont be disappointed.They have got it all going on and they have sex appeal.The only thing is there height.They are mostly small,including the men so when you see a tall girl she really stands out.So my only advice is keep the gringo look and don't be shy because the girls aren't,but don't expect it on a plate.Like every city theres a place you can pay for that if you want.As for the men.I have seen lots of gringo girls passing through the city hook up with the local men too.Some of the men are cool looking dudes.They got the dark Latin looks and the girls like it.Think Julio Iglesias Jr and you know what I mean.A lot of the men though have mullet haircuts which is not a good look, but the men who hang out in the more fashionable areas and have some money don't go for this look.Expect to have lots of men dance with you when you go out,even if your with your boyfriend.They don't care and its not thought offensive for a man to start dancing with you girlfriend.Again if you have blonde hair you will expect to get the most attention.I was knocking about with a blonde German bird for a while and she was always getting comments.I didn't understand what they were saying at the time, she told me later but its too rude to write on here.The Colombians are some of the friendliest people I have ever met.They love to talk to you,dance with you and help you if they can.So expect to get attention when you arrive.Just don't be shy...enjoy it.

In the words of Sophie Loren " Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty per cent what people think you've got "

Not too cool for school........

Everything changes when you start working.The whole city looks different.You feel more a part of everything.More connected.I look around the bus as I head to work on my first day at my new job.There are no gringos on the bus,only me.The buses in Medellin are crazy.They are jam packed in the mornings.They don't have bus stops.You just stand at the side of the road and flag it down.As soon as you set foot on the bus the driver starts driving.And they drive fast.You have to give your money to the driver whilst he is driving.He then counts your change and hands it to you.All the time he is driving !! My new job is in the city centre, centro as they say, so the bus is packed with mainly office workers.I arrive at the school at 7;45 and I am handed a t-shirt with the school name on the front.Every teacher has to wear one.The school is busy with teachers and pupils milling about.The administration staff are busy taking payments from pupils and giving schedules to teachers.The majority of students are in the 18-24 age group but there is no age limit.If you pay your money they will teach you.The school teaches French and German also.I meet with the yank who gave me the job and he introduces me to the other teacher we will be working with.She is an Irish girl I met in Bogota.Small world.The job is basically taking the students to different places in Medellin and talking about the location in English and doing different activities.We have a group in the morning 8am till 12 then another group 2 till 6.All the students have been studying English for 6 months and this is there final two weeks of there current term.The good thing is that most of these students want to be there.There are a few who's parents are forcing them to go but the majority want to learn English and they know its going to help them in the future.This is a big help.They are all friendly and they always like to ask questions.The first day is basically walking round the botanic gardens and talking to the students about the wildlife.Its beautiful and the weather is hot.Everyone is relaxed and enjoying the day.This isn't work I am thinking.Lunch time comes and the yank boss takes me to a restaurant near the school.The food is good and cheap.This will become my regular.We have just under 2 hours for lunch everyday so I use this time to eat and revise some Spanish.The centre of Medellin is all hustle and bustle.Music blaring from shops,lots of traffic ,lots of people going about there business.Lots of people just hanging around doing nothing.A few people I know have been mugged here in broad daylight ,so I keep alert.I find it hard to see how they got mugged as its so busy.I get the bus home at the end of the day along with all the other commuters.It feels good to be working.This is what I had planned in my mind when I decided to come to Colombia.Now it was real.This is my routine for the next few weeks.The two weeks go quick and I have loved every day.I have visited every tourist attraction in Medellin and got paid well for it.A few afternoons I had to take proper lessons.When I say proper lessons I mean actual teaching, not just having a chat with the students.The students have been great aswell.I got on well with all of them and it was fun rather than work most days.I am only there to help them, I cant force them to learn.This isn't free education like school, where we are all just a number going thru the system,another brick in the wall as someone once said.They are paying for the privilege so its up to them how much effort they want to put in.I always try to get to know a bit about them and they are always asking questions about me,and where I am from and why I am here.I understand how they feel trying to talk in a new language, it feels unnatural.I always try to make it fun and relaxed ,and so far its gone down well.I still have to get used to being called Teacher though.They are allowed to call us by our name but they all call you Teacher when asking you a question.The owner of the school spoke to me and told me he would definitely give me a job full time when he has a vacancy.I am still doing work for the other guy but the pay is less and the hours are too. I have started to pick up some private classes aswell.A local girl I know told me her friend was after some English lessons and she had gave her my email.Sure enough she emailed me and we arrange to meet near her work.I turn up and her English is really good.Why do you need lessons I ask ? She explains that she lived in New York and that's why her English is good but she never gets the chance to use it.So she wants to have conversation classes every week to keep it good and improve some of her vocabulary.These are the best students to have.Easy work.She is nice looking and friendly, and shes paying me to talk to her !! I have another student who is an Architect ,he is going to London with his wife and children in a few months and wants to improve his English.His English is good as he studied there 20 years ago.Again he just wants to have conversation classes and talk about London.I always have some recent news articles printed off with me,that I get them to read and we discuss words or saying they don't understand.I get on well with both of them and they keep booking me.They have told me they will recommend me to any one else they know.This is the best way to get work.Word of mouth.Especially from the Architect.He lives in the super rich part of the city called Poblado.He is obviously very wealthy and I imagine his friends are too.I had doubts about my ability to teach but its gone well so far.My Spanish is improving but its a slow process.Its harder than I thought.I know a hundred times more than when I arrived but its still way short of what I need.I am staying with a Colombian family now and its helping me a lot with my Spanish.They are forcing me to speak Spanish and its what I need.I have been lazy in speaking it as a lot of people I know can speak English.Its one thing reading books and listening to your Ipod but the only way to learn is to speak it.I can get by in most situations but I want to have normal conversations.I cant imagine ever being able to do this as listening is so hard.My apartment is close to the football stadium.I can hear the roar of the crowd when I am lying in bed watching the game.A new season has started and I have been going to a few games with my Peruvian/manc mate and a Colombian he knows.The stadium is always full as Nacional have started the season well.I have been back in the nutters section behind the goal,as its a great atmosphere but there is still an edge to everything.The local derby is coming up soon.We are planning to go.I can only imagine its chaos.They hate each other.One team plays in green and white and the other in red and blue, and they are from the same city.Sounds familiar I think....
In the words of Benjamin Franklin " Tell me and I forget .Teach me and I remember.Involve me and I learn "