Like most people I need a detox in January.I have been drinking a lot for the whole of December.I haven't done any exercise since the day I left the UK.People who know me will find this a surprise but I haven't done a thing.I have been living off junk food most nights since I arrived in Colombia on the 11th November.Colombian cuisine is not great,its boring.I have been eating pizza ,burger or ribs for dinner every night for 6 weeks.The yank doesn't like the Colombian food either and he loves a burger or pizza.I have hardly seen a vegetable in all that time.I eat cereal every morning and I always have some fruit during the day,mango's or kiwis but that's as healthy as it gets.I weigh exactly the same as when I left home.How can that be.No exercise and a fast food diet and I weigh the same.I decide no alcohol for the first 2 weeks of January.I decide to start cooking my dinners most nights,stir fry and pasta meals with vegetables.I feel better after a few days of this and I am ready to start my job hunt on Monday 11th Jan when most places go back to work.I decide to go back to the places I went to before Christmas and hit some new places aswell.There is nothing glamorous about looking for teaching work in Medellin.I have a list of places to go to and I need to travel the city to find them.Its hot and its busy.On and off buses.Knocking on doors,talking to people who speak no English.It can wear you out but you need a big smile always.I am full of enthusiasm,this is what I wanted to do.Everyone takes your CV and says they will be in touch,no one calls you back.You always have to go back if you want a result.On the 3rd day I go back to a place I went too before Xmas.I ring the bell and I recognise the guy.He remembers me but not my name.I sat a test at this place before Christmas.He tells me to wait and he will speak with me.30 minutes later I am in his office and he is going thru my CV and TEFL certificates with me.We discuss a few things and then he says '"I would like to offer you a job' .Happy days I am thinking , but not wanting to look too happy because we haven't even discussed money or hours.He offers me 6 hours a day, Mon to Thurs and 4hrs on Saturday morning.The pay is 12,000 pesos (£4) an hour, which is average for teaching in Colombia.I am happy with this.It will pay the rent and food for the month.I know people teaching for less and having to work longer.We shake hands and he asks me to come in for a few hours training tomorrow as the work starts next week.I am buzzing as I walk back to the hostel.I cant stop smiling.I have a job in Colombia.At the hostel everyone congratulates me.They all seem genuinely happy for me.I need to get a room in a shared apartment now and I ask a Colombian girl I know to help me out.I want one close to my work as some days I start at 6am.Yes its early but I spoke to a few people and its normal for people to take lessons before work.I find a room on the same street as the language school I am working at.Its pretty basic but the location is great. for work.I decide to take it as its 2 minutes walk to the new school.There are two Colombians and a German living there.The German speaks a bit of English but the Colombians none.I have my own bathroom and we all share the kitchen.Theres no living room but we all have tvs in the bedrooms and there is wi-fi.I will be busy with work so I only need the basics. I sign up for a month to month contract.I pop in to the school on the Friday to pick up my schedule as requested.The guy is there and he is friendly as usual. His English is broken but he always gets there.I would expect him to be better at speaking English as he runs the school but anyway.He tells me to come back Monday as the lessons don't start till Tuesday.Ok no problem.I head back Monday and speak to the guy.We have a little problem he says.The lessons don't start till next Monday.What ?? I start to have doubts.When you hear that voice in your head you should trust it.Next Monday is a whole week away.He assures me he will ring me to tell me the schedule.He is friendly as always.I dismiss my doubts and say its only a week.A few days pass and no phone call.I go back to see him."We are having our meeting tonight about the schedule I will call you and let you know tonight " he says.No phone call.Now I have serious doubts.The school was nice,he introduced me to the owner.Gave me training.Whats going on.?? I call an American guy I know.He has been teaching here for over a year.His parents are Colombian so I figure he is a good guy to speak with.I tell him the story.Forget it he says.What do you mean forget it ?? There is no job he says. He tells me the same thing happened to his friend at another place.The guy has offered me the job on the basis they will recruit more students to the school and they haven't got the students.Why doesn't the guy in the school tell me there is no work instead of saying he will call ?.Colombians don't like to loose face he tells me.He will never tell you there is no job after shaking your hand.He cant tell you to your face.I have been told this by other people since I arrived in Colombia.Its a big part of Colombian culture, they cant loose face.I met an English guy on new years eve who runs a hostel in Colombia.He told me" never get into business with Colombians " I took his comment as a bit ambiguous but now I can see where he was coming from.How can you work with people if all they are worried about is loosing face.I am really pissed off now.I decide to go back in the morning and speak to the guy.He is going to loose face when I start giving him shit in front of his staff and students.It has been 10 days since he offered me the job.Ten days wasted.Ten days I could have been looking for another job.This was the prime time to get a job.All the other jobs will have been taken by now.I am gonna make him tell me the truth in the morning.Maybe the English guy was right,don't do business with Colombians.I think back to Scarface when Tony rolls his eyes at the mention of Colombians.Maybe he was right,they cant be trusted.Tony ended up being tied up with a chainsaw at his head.I wake up the next day and decide not to waste my time with the douche bag.I cant trust myself to keep calm when I see him.I have left the hostel and given up my bar job to work for this guy,and there is no work.I have left the hostel and moved to another part of town so I could be close to work, and there is no work.To make matters worse I don't like the apartment I am in.It wouldn't be so bad if I was working but I am stuck in this room with no work in a part of the city where I don't know anyone.I knew it would be strange leaving the hostel as its been home for a while but I figured I would be too busy working to notice.There was always something going on in the hostel.I knew everyone. I had a job in the bar.My first week in Colombia was tough because it was new and I kind of expected it, but this is different.This has set me back.My head is now filled with doubts.I wasnt full of confidence to start with.I must be stupid thinking I can get a job teaching English.I have never taught English before.Who would give me a job ?.This was a stupid idea.I should never have came.What am I doing in this room? What am I doing in this apartment ? What am I doing in this city in the mountains of Colombia ? Is it worth even looking for another job.To say my confidence is low at this point is an understatement.I haven't got the enthusiasm or the belief to travel the city looking for more work.The days are passing and my mood hasn't changed.I cant be bothered looking for work.I meet an American girl I know,she got a job at one of the places I told her to go to when I thought I had my job.This only adds to my doubts about finding work.This is the shit part.Everything has been going well.Now its changed.Even the weather turned shit for a few days.My anger at the guy has turned to feeling low.I had bags of enthusiasm at the start of the new year,now its gone. I need to do something.Maybe I should leave.Go home.Go somewhere else.Give up in otherwords.
In the words of Mike Krzyzewski " I think your not a human being unless you have doubts and fears "
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