Its not what you know but.....

Jerry Seinfeld

Is life what you make it ? or is it all planned out for you ?  Do things happen by chance or do you attract things and people to you ?Big questions, and I have thoughts on these but that's for another day.The one thing I do know is,the worst thing you can do is nothing.How can things change if you do nothing.They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.A few days after I arrived in Colombia I met a German guy.He gave me the card for a hostel in Medellin and told me to go there.I had never heard about this hostel,it wasn't in any of my guide books,and I hadn't seen it on the Internet.The hostel was under a year old so unless I had met the German I wouldn't have known about it.I ended up working in the hostel and staying there for 6 weeks and making loads of great friends.Even after the German told me to go there I was still in two minds about going to this hostel.Then I met some rude Israeli on the coach to Medellin and he was going to one of the other hostesl in Medellin that I was thinking about.This just convinced me to go to the hostel the German recommended.Was this luck ? a coincidence ? I didn't have a plan when I left. I had many doubts but I only had one thing I knew I would do and that was teach English in Colombia.So I was stuck in the wrong part of the city with no job and feeling low.I finally pulled myself together and decided that I would find a job.There is no way I can give up now.Its not an option.I cant let one Colombian douche bag beat me.The first time Jerry Seinfeld went on stage he looked at the crowd and froze.He was jeered off after 90 seconds.He went back the next night and nailed it,the rest as they say is history.I didn't have the same enthusiasm as before but I had to give it a go.I went back to a few places I had been before and asked them but they had already recruited someone.Not a great start.One place seemed keen and they said they would call.No call.I decided to go to the gym near my apartment.I am in there an hour when someone calls my name.I look round and theres a guy I know who comes in the hostel bar sometimes.He is from Manchester but his mum is from Peru.He is only 23 but has a great job.He speaks perfect Spanish and is running a language class for the British Council every day.We are chatting away and he asks me if I want to help him with one of his classes.Theres no pay but it will give me some experience.Sure why not.I arrange to meet him there the next day.He has a class of 30 students and they discuss various topics and have debates in English.It was good fun and we go for a beer after at a bar across from the Uni.I am sitting outside the bar chatting to the Peruvian manc when a Colombian guy I knew from the hostel walks by.He stops and asks me hows it going.I tell him my story about the guy letting me down with the job.He says he will see if he can help me.A few days later he facebooks me with a number of a friend and tells me to call him about work.I ring the guy and he tells me to come for an interview the next day.I head down there the next day for the interview.The guy is Colombian but lived his life in New York.He talks a lot but you expect it from someone from New York.He seems ok though and I like him.We discuss teaching and I can tell by the way he is speaking he thinks I have teaching experience.My Colombian friend has told him I have experience.I decide to go along with this.After an hour of chatting he offers me a job.He hasn't even asked to see my CV or TEFL certificates.He never asked me if I have taught before.He tells me I start in two days.All his pupils are adults which I prefer.Not ready for teaching kids yet.He will call me to confirm my schedule.He cant guarantee me a regular schedule at this moment but I am happy to take what he has got as its practise for me and some money coming in.The pay is 10,000 pesos an hour.Not the best but not the worst.I will take anything just to get some experience.Its also a 2 minute walk from the hostel which is great and in the area I know and like.I am not too excited after the last guy.However he calls me the next day to tell me I have three lessons tomorrow.All for 2 hours each.Shit.Now its real.I am teaching tomorrow morning.I think back to my training in London.I was rubbish.I couldn't get my words out.I could feel my cheeks turning red,I was mumbling.I turn up at 8.45 for my first class at 9 till 11.I speak to the boss man and he tells me the students in the morning are all intermediate.He wants me to just have a conversation with them.Get them used to my accent.Choose a topic and discuss he says.Make sure they are talking and not just listening to me.They have only been taught by Americans so they need to hear another other voice he says.Nearly every English language programme on TV in Colombia is American.Shows like Seinfeld ,Fraser and ER,and this is how they learn.Theres only 4 students in this class.One of the students is a girl in her 20s.I wouldn't mention this normally but she had the biggest pair of fake boobs, and she wasn't hiding them.This is not what I need on my first ever lesson.I have to mention at this point that Medellin is the fake boob capital of the world.Every girl or woman who can afford them has got them.They love to show them off.I mean really show them off.The smallest top they can find.No one bats an eyelid except us gringos.I have got used to it now, but I thought she might have covered them up a little in the classroom.Do me a favour.I have got nothing planned as he told me he would arrange the work.Colombians love hearing about other countries and telling you about there own country.Nothing gets them talking more than when they are telling you about there city or country.I decide to go down this path and the lesson goes well and it goes quick.I feel relaxed and enjoy it.The students seem to like me and they are talking,something that Colombians find very hard when learning English.They dont like to loose face and the one thing about learning a new language in front of other people is you will make mistakes.I have another class of 4 students next then its lunch.My next class after lunch is a group of 6 students who are lower level.They are a mixture of young and old but its a lot tougher.The boss man sits in on some of the class which doesnt help.However I get through it and I seem to do well.I feel confident and relaxed most of the time.The boss man is happy and gives me my schedule for the next day.I feel good as I walk home.My first teaching job in Colombia.The next day I work 4 hours in the morning and then finish.I walk outside after work and my phone goes.Theres an American guy on the phone he says he has got my CV and would like to interview me for a position at the school he works at.Its the school where the American/Colombian guy I know from the hostel works.He told me he would put in a good word for me.This is a great company to work for.Good pay and very reliable.I arrange to meet him the next day.I turn up to meet him and get a surprise.I know this guy.The very first night I arrived in Medellin ,when I had a mad one up the mountain this guy was there for a while.He recognizes me and we both laugh about the night and how he didn't know it was me on the phone.Happy days I hope.The job is only for 2 weeks work but there could be more.Its basically working with him taking students on field trips to all the sights of Medellin and improving there English.Sounds good.We chat about life in Medellin,American football,and why I am in Medellin.He has read my CV but  he never asks about teaching experience.I get the feeling the jobs mine but he says he has to interview some more people. and he will call me.Sure enough he calls me and offers me the job.Happy days.The pay is 17,000 pesos an hour which is great.Its a foot in the door to this company which is one of the biggest in Medellin.I explain to the first guy that I will be working for this other company on certain days for the next few weeks and he is happy to offer me work on the other days.In the space of a few days I have gone from no job to two jobs.Starting next week I will be teaching every day except Sundays.Both these jobs have come from people I know rather then what I know.Both jobs have come thru people I know at the hostel.Would I have got these jobs if I went to another hostel and never met the German.I dont know.Was it a coincidence I met the Colombian guy when sitting outside a bar ? All I know is I wanted to teach english in Colombia and thats exactly what I am doing.I only have a week left on the apartment I dont like and decide to look for somewhere else.I place an ad on the internet.Its the colombian version of spareroom.com.Within a day I get a message and arrange to see an apartment.I turn up and the location is perfect.Its in the middle of my two jobs.I can walk to one job and get a ten minute bus to the other.Its near the hostel ,the metro and football stadium aswell.Perfect.I knock on the door and I know the Colombian girl that answers.In a city of just under 4 million it seems like everyone is connected.She was friends with an American guy that I shared a room with at the hostel.I only knew her to say hello briefly.The apartment is really nice.Its really clean has a living area,internet ,tv in room and all bills included.Perfect.I shake hands and say I will move in next week.Life is good again.Everything is falling into place.I always liked it here.I just needed to find work.Now I found the work, next week the real work begins.
In the words of Thomas Edison " Many of lifes failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up "

Thats life,thats what all the people say.......

Like most people I need a detox in January.I have been drinking a lot for the whole of December.I haven't done any exercise since the day I left the UK.People who know me will find this a surprise but I haven't done a thing.I have been living off junk food most nights since I arrived in Colombia on the 11th November.Colombian cuisine is not great,its boring.I have been eating pizza ,burger or ribs for dinner every night for 6 weeks.The yank doesn't like the Colombian food either and he loves a burger or pizza.I have hardly seen a vegetable in all that time.I eat cereal every morning and I always have some fruit during the day,mango's or kiwis but that's as healthy as it gets.I weigh exactly the same as when I left home.How can that be.No exercise and a fast food diet and I weigh the same.I decide no alcohol for the first 2 weeks of January.I decide to start cooking my dinners most nights,stir fry and pasta meals with vegetables.I feel better after a few days of this and I am ready to start my job hunt on Monday 11th Jan when most places go back to work.I decide to go back to the places I went to before Christmas and hit some new places aswell.There is nothing glamorous about looking for teaching work in Medellin.I have a list of places to go to and I need to travel the city to find them.Its hot and its busy.On and off buses.Knocking on doors,talking to people who speak no English.It can wear you out but you need a big smile always.I am full of enthusiasm,this is what I wanted to do.Everyone takes your CV and says they will be in touch,no one calls you back.You always have to go back if you want a result.On the 3rd day I go back to a place I went too before Xmas.I ring the bell and I recognise the guy.He remembers me but not my name.I sat a test at this place before Christmas.He tells me to wait and he will speak with me.30 minutes later I am in his office and he is going thru my CV and TEFL certificates with me.We discuss a few things and then he says '"I would like to offer you a job' .Happy days I am thinking , but not wanting to look too happy because we haven't even discussed money or hours.He offers me 6 hours a day, Mon to Thurs and 4hrs on Saturday morning.The pay is 12,000 pesos (£4) an hour, which is average for teaching in Colombia.I am happy with this.It will pay the rent and food for the month.I know people teaching for less and having to work longer.We shake hands and he asks me to come in for a few hours training tomorrow as the work starts next week.I am buzzing as I walk back to the hostel.I cant stop smiling.I have a job in Colombia.At the hostel everyone congratulates me.They all seem genuinely happy for me.I need to get a room in a shared apartment now and I ask a Colombian girl I know to help me out.I want one close to my work as some days I start at 6am.Yes its early but I spoke to a few people and its normal for people to take lessons before work.I find a room on the same street as the language school I am working at.Its pretty basic but the location is great. for work.I decide to take it as its 2 minutes walk to the new school.There are two Colombians  and a German living there.The German speaks a bit of English but the Colombians none.I have my own bathroom and we all share the kitchen.Theres no living room but we all have tvs in the bedrooms and there is wi-fi.I will be busy with work so I only need the basics. I sign up for a month to month contract.I pop in to the school on the Friday to pick up my schedule as requested.The guy is there and he is friendly as usual. His English is broken but he always gets there.I would expect him to be better at speaking English as he runs the school but anyway.He tells me to come back Monday as the lessons don't start till Tuesday.Ok no problem.I head back Monday and speak to the guy.We have a little problem he says.The lessons don't start till next Monday.What ?? I start to have doubts.When you hear that voice in your head you should trust it.Next Monday is a whole week away.He assures me he will ring me to tell me the schedule.He is friendly as always.I dismiss my doubts and say its only a week.A few days pass and no phone call.I go back to see him."We are having our meeting tonight about the schedule I will call you and let you know tonight " he says.No phone call.Now I have serious doubts.The school was nice,he introduced me to the owner.Gave me training.Whats going on.?? I call an American guy I know.He has been teaching here for over a year.His parents are Colombian so I figure he is a good guy to speak with.I tell him the story.Forget it he says.What do you mean forget it ?? There is no job he says. He tells me the same thing happened to his friend at another place.The guy has offered me the job on the basis they will recruit more students to the school and they haven't got the students.Why doesn't the guy in the school tell me there is no work instead of saying he will call ?.Colombians don't like to loose face he tells me.He will never tell you there is no job after shaking your hand.He cant tell you to your face.I have been told this by other people since I arrived in Colombia.Its a big part of Colombian culture, they cant loose face.I met an English guy on new years eve who runs a hostel in Colombia.He told me" never get into business with Colombians " I took his comment as a bit ambiguous but now I can see where he was coming from.How can you work with people if all they are worried about is loosing face.I am really pissed off now.I decide to go back in the morning and speak to the guy.He is going to loose face when I start giving him shit in front of his staff and students.It has been 10 days since he offered me the job.Ten days wasted.Ten days I could have been looking for another job.This was the prime time to get a job.All the other jobs will have been taken by now.I am gonna make him tell me the truth in the morning.Maybe the English guy was right,don't do business with Colombians.I think back to Scarface when Tony rolls his eyes at the mention of Colombians.Maybe he was right,they cant be trusted.Tony ended up being tied up with a chainsaw at his head.I wake up the next day and decide not to waste my time with the douche bag.I cant trust myself to keep calm when I see him.I have left the hostel and given up my bar job to work for this guy,and there is no work.I have left the hostel and moved to another part of town so I could be close to work, and there is no work.To make matters worse I don't like the apartment I am in.It wouldn't be so bad if I was working but I am stuck in this room with no work in a part of the city where I don't know anyone.I knew it would be strange leaving the hostel as its been home for a while but I figured I would be too busy working to notice.There was always something going on in the hostel.I knew everyone. I had a job in the bar.My first week in Colombia was tough because it was new and I kind of expected it, but this is different.This has set me back.My head is now filled with doubts.I wasnt full of confidence to start with.I must be stupid thinking I can get a job teaching English.I have never taught English before.Who would give me a job ?.This was a stupid idea.I should never have came.What am I doing in this room? What am I doing in this apartment ? What am I doing in this city in the mountains of  Colombia ? Is it worth even looking for another job.To say my confidence is low at this point is an understatement.I haven't got the enthusiasm or the belief to travel the city looking for more work.The days are passing and my mood hasn't changed.I cant be bothered looking for work.I meet an American girl I know,she got a job at one of the places I told her to go to when I thought I had my job.This only adds to my doubts about finding work.This is the shit part.Everything has been going well.Now its changed.Even the weather turned shit for a few days.My anger at the guy has turned to feeling low.I had bags of enthusiasm at the start of the new year,now its gone. I need to do something.Maybe I should leave.Go home.Go somewhere else.Give up in otherwords.
In the words of Mike Krzyzewski " I think your not a human being unless you have doubts and fears "

The Bonnie Bonnie Banks Of Guatape....

Guatape

I had a few weeks to kill untill the new year and I could start looking for work again.I was thinking about going up north to the Caribbean coast for a week or so.Its only an hour flight away but the heat is pretty intense and its really busy with tourists at this time of year so I wasn't so sure.Anyway before I made up my mind the yank asked me if I wanted to work in the bar in the hostel.Free accommodation for serving drinks and playing music.Yes why not.The main bar man was leaving so he needed to find someone.It was out of the blue when he asked me but I was glad he did.It would save me some money and I needed some work just to keep me occupied.The Yank wasn't always there ,and although I hadn't known him long, he trusted me enough to run the bar on my own and lock up.I had never worked in a bar before but I had drunk in this one many times so I felt comfortable on my first night.Most people when they arrive at the hostel head to the bar at night.Its a good way to meet other people and a good way to find out any information about Medellin.It made me laugh how people assumed I was an expert on Medellin and Colombia because I worked in the bar.People asking me all sorts of stuff.It isn't just backpackers who come to the bar,locals come there to.I knew a lot of them anyway but a few I didn't  and they just assumed my Spanish was perfect and rattled off there order at 100mph.My Spanish is getting better but trying to understand what they say is a nightmare.They speak so fast.A barman in Colombia is something I never thought I would be doing but I enjoy it.I get to choose the tunes which is always good.I have got a very eclectic taste in music but there is always some Stevie ,Floyd and Stones gets played once in the night.Its getting close to Christmas and I am starting to wonder what I will be doing.I have been abroad for many Christmas days but never on my own.My NewYork friend is staying in Medellin till the 27th so at least he will be around. The yank who owns the hostel, his mum and dad are coming for 10 days over Christmas and new year so he is going to be with them and his brother.Christmas for Colombians is slightly different from us.They dont have Santa Claus,they have baby Jesus who brings all the children presents.Most of them stay at home drinking then they wake the children up when it gets past midnight to open there presents.Then they drink some more and have a party.More and more people are arriving at the hostel the few days before Christmas.A few of them offer to cook a big Christmas day dinner if enough people chip in.Happy days.I explain that I cant cook but I will be willing to chip in.The yank hasn't been around much because his parents are visiting him,he asks me to work Christmas eve in the bar.I can close whenever I want as long as the guests have somewhere to drink before going out.It doesn't feel like Christmas to be honest.The bar was busy Christmas eve and  everyone seemed to presume I knew where to go out afterwards.I have been going out to a lot of the bars were the locals drink but I don't feel comfortable taking a load of pissed up gringos.They seem to be electing me group leader.I need the yank.He knows what to do.I speak to a few Colombian friends who had invited me to there house and they told me that most places were shut anyway as the locals would be at home.I ended up working the bar till 2 am as most people wanted to stay when I explained the main bars were shut.A few people went out but nothing was open and they ended up back at the bar.I woke up Christmas day and decided to go to mass at the chapel near the hostel.It was a nice warm day and I needed to get out the hostel,especially when dinner was being cooked.Colombia is a predominately catholic country and it was packed.I didn't understand a word the priest was saying but I have been to a few masses on Christmas day and this was the same drill as the others.At the hostel a few of the girls cooked a big dinner, three chickens, gravy veg ,potatoes cauliflower cheese...it was fantastic.I put some Christmas music on in the bar and we all sat down to our feast.There was about twelve of us  and the girl working reception joined us.A few beers and some wine was drunk and everyone seemed happy enough.I decided to go away for new year.A few people asked me if I wanted to go to Guatape for a few days.Its a small town a few hours from Medellin by bus that has a festival at new year and a great place to chill out with some great scenery.Its a place the locals go to get away from the hustle bustle of Medellin.The hostel we stayed in was breathtaking.Over looking a huge lake it was amazing.The only thing I can describe it like, is maybe Loch Lomond with very hot weather.We all headed down to the town for new years eve.I will give the Colombians there due,they all get involved when theres a celebration.Most people were in fancy dress and they were getting drunk from early on.There was live salsa music and it was hard not to get caught up in the atmosphere.The next day I woke up and I headed out to the large balcony bleary eyed.The view soon made me feel better.No one else was up so I made myself a cup of tea and sat on the balcony overlooking the lake.New years day and here I am in some remote part of Colombia.I didnt see that one coming.I begin to wonder what 2012 has in store for me.A few people were starting to get up and they suggested going swimming in the lake.Is this safe.This is Colombia.Dont they have some dodgy things swimming about.I was assured it was safe.The water was clear and it was warm.Perfect hangover cure.We got some kayaks out from the hostel and spent new years day messing about in this giant lake.My thoughts are turning to work as I head back to Medellin by bus a few days after new year.I need to get some work soon.Once I get a job then I can move into a shared apartment.I cant get an apartment untill I know where I am working.I love the hostel and I am great friends with everyone who works there and a lot of people who drink there.However I need to get out to improve my Spanish and experience more of Medellin.I need my own space aswell.You meet some real characters and hear some great stories but for every four great people theres one knob head.My knob head radar is very strong since I have been away and I can swerve these people most of the time.I need to be busy.Everything opens next week.Its a big month for me.The only plan I had was to get a job teaching  English.If I don't get a job this month then I never will.I might have to go back to Bogota for work and the thought leaves me cold.A job is one of two things I asked for when I went to mass....lets see if the big man can deliver.
In the words of Joe King   " New year, same goal "

Geez a job.....

Yosser Hughes

I decided I would start my job search on Monday morning.I had spoken to a few people who were teaching English in Medellin at the moment and they all advised me to go to the teaching institutes personally.They advised me to turn up with my CV and certificate, and hand them in.Everyone of them told me its harder to get work here than Bogota,and the pay was less.Its not about the money,its a lifestyle choice living in Medellin.I decided to follow there advice and got the names of four places that taught English.None of these were government schools,they were private company's that taught English to adults.I put on my only pair of shoes,jeans and a shirt that morning and headed out to find me a job.First I had to print of my CV and certificate.I went to a copy shop a few blocks away.I took my laptop in my rucksack and walked in.Now I know what happens to all the old photocopiers I used to sell back home.These copiers were the kind I used to sell to the trade for £25.The kind that had been used for 4 or 5 years by some company back home and deemed no use.Here was a guy in Colombia running a business with them.He had the old style computers,no flat screens here.I thought of all the stuff that gets thrown out back home,and how this guy would kill for it.The Police were in there when I arrived using his equipment, and students from the local uni were coming in.My Spanish didn't go far enough to tell him what I wanted but I showed him the laptop and done a bit of pointing and we got there.The copy quality was up to scratch.I got 5 copies of each and put them in envelopes.I headed for the metro as the first place was in the city centre.I had a rough idea where it was.Once I got off the metro I decided to grab something to eat before I went to the first place.I asked the guy in the chicken place if he knew where this first place was.He pointed me in the right direction and I found it easy.This place looks nice.I walk in and tell the girl on reception I am an English teacher and can I speak to someone about any vacancy's they may have.She tells me to come back at 2pm as the person I need to speak to is at lunch.Everywhere closes 1 till 2 over here.It was 1.15 and I decided to find the second place and come back to this one.This turns into a nightmare, the second place is only a few blocks away but it takes me an hour to find.I walk in the door and standing in front of me is one of the guys who drinks at the hostel.He is friends with the yank who owns it and I have had a few beers with him.He is Colombian but moved to LA with his mum and dad when he was a baby.I explain what I am doing and he takes me up to the reception.The lady takes my CV and tells me she wont be recruiting to the new year but she will be in touch.He tells me he is on good terms with the boss and will ask for me in January.He then tells me he has got a class starting now and do I want to sit in on it.Yeah I would love to.He says it will be good for the students to hear another accent apart from his American one,and can I answer some questions from the students and maybe ask them a few.Sure why not.I walk in and sit down.There around 8 or 9 students all in there early 20s.All eyes are on me.I imagine how its going to feel when its me teaching.No pressure !!.He explains the students are upper intermediate level so they can have conversations but they need to practise.He introduces me and tells everyone I am from London and asks me to describe a typical English Christmas.Getting pissed down the pub springs to mind,but I describe cold weather and everyone eating turkey on Christmas day blah blah blah.I stay for half an hour and it was worth doing.Once the students got over the shyness of speaking in English they were asking me about London, New Years Eve and London premiership teams.I didn't have it in me to tell them I lived in Essex.I headed back to the first place and spoke to the same girl on reception.She points me to an office and tells me to ask for Isabella.I feel a bit nervous this place is a lot plusher.I knock on the door.A man who can see me through the glass calls me in.I feel stupid asking if he speaks English as we are in an English school.He smiles and says yes.It was a stupid question.I ask to speak to Isabella.He tells me to grab a seat and he will get her.Isabella appears a few minutes later and she is fit.Smartly dressed and slim with long brown hair, she introduces herself in perfect English and asks me how she can help.I feel out my depth in here and my thoughts are confirmed when she says I am under qualified.They only employ teachers with degrees and she is unable to help me.She is friendly enough and wishes me luck.Its nearly 4pm now and I decide to head back.I feel tired.Walking about a city lost takes it out of you.I get up the next morning and head for the next two places.The first one is called the British Council.I walk in and explain why I am there.The girl rings upstairs and tells me someone will be down in a minute.A man walks in I offer him a handshake and I explain who I am.It turns out he is one of the students and doesn't understand a word I am saying.The lady I am supposed to speak to comes in.She asks me to come into the other room.We sit down and she asks me if I have my CV.I hand her the envelope and she starts to read.She explains that she speaks mainly Spanish and French but her English is OK.Bit strange were in the British council but what do I know.She asks me a few questions and explains that they wont be recruiting till January but she would be in touch.I go to the last one and its much like the first one,you need a degree.I head back to the hostel and there is a new guy from Baltimore in the US moved into my room.We get on straight away.He is a funny guy and he is here till the 27th Dec.He wants to improve his Spanish and find an apartment to share with some Colombians while he is here.I tell him I am also looking for an apartment and I will come with him to see whats out there.I find out on the grapevine that an English guy who has been teaching English is leaving town and he may know of any vacancy's.I get his email from the yank and he come into the hostel to speak to me.He is from Croydon but he speaks very posh ,must be a first.He tells me of the place he was working and to try there.I head there the next day and Baltimore yank comes with me.I press the buzzer and some older woman comes to the door,I don't know what she is saying,but she goes away.A minute later the door opens and we walk in.I explain to the girl on reception why I am there.She asks for my CV and starts to look at it.A Colombian guy comes in and introduces himself.He is very friendly and asks me a few questions.Would I like to do a test they have.SHIT.What sort of test.I cant remember half the stuff I have learned on this course.Sure I say.How long will it take I ask.That's up to you he replies.I look at the Baltimore Yank.The Colombian looks at him to.You can come back later or tomorrow if you wish says the Colombian.That's a relief.Yes that may be better I reply as we have an appointment to look at an apartment. I can get home now and revise some of the stuff I have been learning.He thanks me for coming and I promise to see him tomorrow.I have a swat up that night and cant believe how much I have forgotten.I arrive the next day and the Colombian guy welcomes me back.They get the paperwork out for me and I sit in the courtyard they have.He is friendly and tells me not to worry about the test to much.Easy for him to say.He is going now but to leave it with the receptionist.The first question is multiple choice but its hard.My mind is blank.Shit.The more I read the more I realise I was swatting up on the wrong stuff.Some of the questions look easy,but some of its hard.I manage to answer everything,but whether its right or not is debatable.One part at the end asks if you think teachers are paid enough money? Bit strange I think.I write down I don't know what teachers earn so I cant comment.I head to one other school I was told about and hand in my CV.Again I am told January.It looks like nothing is happening till January anywhere.Looks like I am having an extended holiday.The Baltimore yank is here for a month and he wants to have a good time.I guess I will have to join him...
In the words of Jackson Brown Jr " Find a job you like and you add five days to every week "

Hands, touching hands ,reaching out......

Neil Diamond

I have been in the same hostel for two weeks now and I like it.I need to find an apartment but I need to find out where I am going to be working before I commit to anything.The hostel has been very quiet, November is low season.It always gets busy in December as everyone is on holiday but up until now Ive had my own room most days.I hit it off with the owner as soon as I arrived and he is a good guy.He owns the hostel with his brother,who is not here.He calls me Docman.You have to do it in an American accent."Hey Docman whats up".I was never sure about yanks before I left.I had never met many to be honest.I have been hanging out with a few since I got here and I like them.They got some weird sayings but so have we.The yank knows some of his countrymen are stupid but it seems like the yanks who travel a bit are OK.I know we have enough idiots in the UK that give us all a bad name.There is always something going on and I am making lots of contacts ,but also meeting Colombians who I can call friends now.The girls who work here speak good English and I always have good banter with them.Its only when you can take the piss out of each other can you say you are friends.The young Colombian guy who also works on reception plays guitar really well.He is also a big Pink Floyd fan, so me and him always have a few beers and he plays some Floyd.The cleaner is helping me with my Spanish.She doesn't speak a word of English so theres no cheating with English when we have our little chats.She brought me in a Spanish/English phrase book the other day, which was really nice of her.There is Salsa lessons every Tuesday at 6pm til 8pm.I have been going every week now and there has been progress but its slow.The two teachers are nice girls and I have been out drinking with them a few times.Although everything they teach me goes out the window once Ive had a few.The hostel has a bar and the biggest night on the hostel calender is the Karaoke night every 2nd Thursday.When I arrived, it was the Friday just after the karaoke night.I was told by the yank that it was always a packed night and great fun.This was backed up by a few other people,so I was looking forward to this.I told the yank I was partial to a bit of karaoke and he could count on me to do a number.I wasn't disappointed.The place was busy and full of locals and some gringos.There are no shortage of people wanting to sing so the yank tells me to get my name down early.What do I sing is the problem.The girl who works reception in the morning is a bit of a singer and she always kicks off the night.She starts off with some Pink and she is good.How can they sing in another language.I am struggling to speak Spanish never mind sing it.I am surprised at the choices of the Colombians.I thought it would be all local music but they love Oasis,Queen and Chili Peppers.I cant decide what to sing.Are they ready for my Maggie May??.Have they even heard of Rod Stewart??.I am up shortly and the Yank wants to know what I am singing.The bar is busy now and the drinks are flowing.The Salsa teachers are here with there friends.I told them my singing was better than my dancing.I could do Hello by Lionel Richie.The yank says no.Its to early for that.I need something more upbeat.I need another beer.This place is busy now and the crowd are up for it.I opt for Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond.Good choice says the yank.Do these people even know Neil Diamond.The yank assures me they know this song.The yank introduces me and I get a round of applause.I know the words so I don't need to have my back to the crowd so much.Once I got going, the crowd were with me and they were joining in the chorus.Singing Neil Diamond to a load of Colombians is not something I ever thought I would do when I left home,but I never really knew what I was going to do.I enjoyed it and the night was good.The Colombians were loving it and they were singing everything from Alanis Morissette to Coldplay, even if some of it was in some dodgy accents.I managed to get up once more and do my Lionel Richie, Hello.I am starting to like the Colombian people more as the weeks go by.They are  friendly and theres no angle with them.They don't hassle you when you walk down the street, trying to sell you stuff or telling you which bar to go into.The complete opposite of Thailand where you get hassled by beggars and people selling stuff every two yards.I have been out to many bars and clubs and theres never any trouble.No fights between locals or no one giving me a hard time because I am a gringo.These people just seem to want to drink and dance.I like watching the football on Saturday mornings over here.Every Saturday at 10am you have a choice of two premiership games, the 3pm kick offs back home.You get all the champions league games which kick off at 3pm local time.The biggest supported team in Colombia from Europe is Barcelona.They love them.They like the premiership but no team is as popular as Barca.The food has been the biggest let down since I got here.Its really boring.There are loads of fast food joints and there are nice restaurants.I like to try the local cuisine when I go away but there stuff is boring.Its thin cut meat with rice beans fried banana and egg, not great.They give you a fried banana with everything,I just dont get it.I have spoken to the Colombians about this and they agree it can be boring but they are not used to anything else.I don't know why,Mexico has lots of spices, pepper's and onions but the Colombians don't bother.I have been spoiled when I travel to Thailand,where the food is the best in the world in my opinion.I have my all bran cereal in the mornings with banana and the milk is good.There are lots of fruits and they are really cheap.I love mango's and they cost about 25p here.I have found a nice Italian restaurant.Nothing fancy just where the locals go but they do a great lasagna and the pizzas are as good as any Ive tried.Three of us went there the other night.We all had a main meal and one drink and it came to 46,000 pesos (£14) between the three of us.I got up one Saturday morning to watch the football and I didn't feel to well, by the early evening I was back in bed and I had a fever.I was in bed for two days and I was sweating up.The girls from the hostel were checking up on me but there was nothing they could do.I had to ride it out.I was back on my feet by Monday but it was days before I could get back to eating and feeling normal.It set me back a week being ill.I don't know what it was but I guess you have to expect these things sometimes if you travel so far away.I need to start looking for work next week and I could do with getting my Spanish lessons started aswell.I am settled in now and I know I want to stay here.I am having fun but I know I will get bored if I keep doing the same stuff.I need to see whats out there on the work front.

 In the words of Elvis Pressley " Singers come and go, but if your a good actor you can last a lot longer "

Let the people sing

Every morning I have a cup of tea and a chat with the girl on reception at the hostel.She speaks good English and she knows everything ,and it seems, everyone who lives in Medellin.Its not helping my Spanish that she speaks perfect English but its good to chat.So were chatting one morning and she tells me her football team is playing tonight.They need to win tonight to have any chance of winning the league for the 2nd year running.She tells me I can buy a ticket at the ground if I want to go.I am up for that.They play in green and white which is the same as my team back home.I take this as a sign that I have made the right decision to make Medellin my new home.I have heard it can get a bit out of hand at some of the games but she tells me the team they are playing are not one of there rivals so it should be OK.I bump into a couple of people at the hostel, a German and Swiss, who have already got tickets and I decide to go with them.They have bought the cheap tickets where all the nutters go.I talk to a few people and they say it should be OK there but the safe bet is in the main stand behind the dug outs.I explain to the German and the Swiss where the tickets are for and I am OK to go in there as long as they know.The German is young and he says he doesnt care where he stands.OK fair enough. I am up for it then.I get the impression the German is a bit of a dick but give him the benefit of the doubt.The stadium is only a 15 minute walk from the hostel so we leave one hour before  kick off.The German grabs a bottle of beer to walk down the street with.I think he thinks this makes him look tough but no one else is doing this and he looks like a silly gringo.We start to walk to the game and the streets are filled with people wearing the green and white shirts of Athletico Nacional.The closer we get the more people there are.I explain to the swiss guy that the red and blue cap he is wearing is the colour of there local rivals.He thanks me and takes it off.Like any football match I have been to there is an edge to the atmosphere outside the ground.I think to when I go to watch my team how I feel at ease with the people around me.There is an unwritten bond between everyone, we are all there for the one cause.I start to feel a bit uneasy the closer we get.The three of us look like gringos and we are starting to stand out more and more.We have no connection with theese people.We come to our first search point, everyone is put into lines and searched by the police.I dont have my ticket yet.I hope they let me thru so I can buy it at the kiosk.Everyone is getting thoroughly searched.This is good really.I get thru and and we head to the ticket office.I ask for the cheapest ticket and hand over 16,000 pesos(£4).We walk round to the gate and theres another search point before we get in.This is armed police searching us, not a steward in site.We get thru.We start to walk up the concrete stairs.There is someone smoking a joint on the stairs.People are staring at us.We come to the first level and decide to walk up to the next level.We walk out and we are smack behind the goals.The stadium is a big bowl with only a small roof on the side where the directors sit.It hold 40,000 when full but theres hardly anyone in the opposite end.Its half full behind the goal as we make our way up the steps.Theres no seat numbers.Just grab a place and stand there it seems.We are getting more looks and I can tell the German doesn't look so confident now.I feel uneasy myself but I am trying to look relaxed.The smell of joints being smoked is wafting through the warm evening air.I hope were not standing in the local nutters spot.I look around and the guy behind me is looking at me.I offer him a handshake and he takes it and smiles at me.The place is filling up fast.We had plenty of space but now its getting tight.The pitch looks in great condition but there was a heavy down pour a few hours ago, so its wet on top.Most people seem young ,theres no one over 25.Not only am I a gringo I am the oldest one here.They are all wearing the Nacional shirt or a white vest,with trainers,jeans and mullet hair cut.Think Maradonna 1986 and you get the picture.Suddenly a band turn up.They walk along the front of the stand and the fans go wild.Theres 5 minutes to kick off and the noise starts.This is loud.The band are 100 feet away and they are whipping this crowd into frenzy.Not only are they singing loud but everyone of them is punching there fists in the air.The players are out on the pitch and this area behind the goal is packed.I estimate theres about 10,000 in this section.The match kicks off but its hard to concentrate with the noise the fans are making.They are all singing the same song and its over and over.I still don't feel at total ease.I have been to big games back home but this is really noisy.The band change song and the fans continue with the new song.Nothing stops them from singing.Theres some goal mouth action but they dont stop with the chanting.Everyone of them to a man is chanting the song.I start to wonder what will happen if they score.I would like to see them score but think it could get out of hand if they do.I am spending more time watching the crowd than watching the game.The German is trying to copy the fans but he  is looking stupid.Nacional come close with a header but the chanting keeps on.I look at the clock and 22 minutes has gone.I wonder if they will ever stop singing.I cant believe how they don't stop even to abuse the ref.Its incessant chanting.Then they score with a 20 yard strike that the keeper palms into the roof of the net. Its Bedlam.To the left of me the crowd surges forward.I brace myself for the same but I only get knocked to the left.A new song starts again and its even louder.That wasn't to bad it could have been worse if I had been in the surge to the left.A few minutes later the opposition equalise. Back home when this happens the fans of the team who lost the goal go into stunned silence, even if its only for 30 seconds.Not this lot.Theres barely a second of silence then it starts again.I am amazed.Half time comes and the chanting stops.I need a break from it.I feel at ease now.I talk to the German and ask him what team he supports.Barcelona is his answer.This just confirms my suspicion he is a knob.Someone who doesn't know shit about football so he picks Barcelona.I look around and notice there are no stewards or police in this section.There are riot police on each side but nothing amongst the fans.Its as if we are just put in this section and left to get on with it.The opposite end of the ground has the away fans and there are no more than 30 of them.It took me 13 hours to travel 300 miles in Colombia so I imagine theres never many away fans unless the match is a derby.As soon as the team come out the chanting starts again.Everything is orchestrated by the band and the man on the drum.Everyone knows the words as I would expect at a football match.Nacional score to go 2-1 ahead after 60 minutes.Bedlam again.There is another massive surge and this time I get knocked forward.I manage to keep myself upright and get back to where I was.If it  stays like this then Nacional can still win the league.The clock is ticking and I start to feel some anxiety amongst the fans for the first time.The tension is building.The away team are looking more threatening and I can sense nervousness amongst the Nacional players.The chanting has got slightly quieter for the first time.They are human after all.Its taken 80 minutes.A free kick to the opposition just outside the box.The ball is floated into the back post and the centre forward is there to head home the equaliser.2-2.This is a disaster.A draw is no good.The fans are stunned this time but it lasts no more than 20 seconds.They start again and this time its louder than ever.I am impressed with there support for there team.A lot of fans would get on there back but this lot are giving it everything to support them.Sadly its not enough and the game ends 2-2.Theres no backlash from the fans at the end.Theres still some singing but they start to leave.I talk to the Swiss guy and we are both amazed at the atmosphere we have just witnessed.This is what we need back in the UK.Bring back standing sections and get the atmosphere back to the grounds.This lot put fans at home to shame.My team included.I don't blame the fans its the clubs and the stadiums.The prawn sandwich brigade as Roy Keane said ,is partly to blame.You get thrown out now if you even attempt to stand up.This was old school football I had just witnessed.Pay on the gate and stand behind the goals.Perfect.This is how it was done when I first started going to watch Celtic in the late 80s.One section standing on the lower level behind the goals is not a danger to anyone.The Germans stand at there games so why cant it be done in the UK.We walked home and there was no trouble.I have been told outside the stadium is like a war zone when the two teams from Medellin meet.They both share the stadium and the city is split 50-50 with supporters.I would like to go to this game.I just hope I have made a few Colombian friends by then that I can tag along with.
In the words of Jock Stein " Football is nothing without fans "

White Gold

Medellin

Pablo Escobar

I was planning to spend a week in Medellin then decide where I wanted to live.Either Bogota or Medellin.I had made my mind up after only 2 nights it was gonna be Medellin.This city is so much better.The weather  is great.You get rain most days but it only lasts twenty minutes then its back to sunshine.The people are friendly,everyone wants to help you.I think the good weather makes everyone happy.Medellin is a city of just under 4 million people but its a clean city.Its surrounded by mountains which makes for great views from anywhere in the city.If I am going to teach English then this is the place to do it.Its harder to find work here because theres more people after the same jobs but I don't want to go back to cold grey Bogota.The metro makes it easy to get about the city.Theres still areas that have poverty and are no go zones for the likes of me but thats the same the world over.One guy I know had his wallet stolen on the metro but again that can happen anywhere.I have spoken to a couple of people who have been robbed at knifepoint and  gunpoint but thats just a hazzard of travelling anywhere in South America.I feel safe in general when going about my business but I am always mindful of where I am. Its hard to imagine what life was like in this city when notorious drug baron Pablo Escobar ruled the city.He was from Medellin and he would build schools and football pitches with the money he made,so not everyone disliked him.This guy was the 7th richest man in the world at one point.He had so much money he offered to pay off Colombia's national debt of 13 billion dollars to the US.In 1991 Colombia had over 27,000 violent murders,making it the murder capital of the world.Colombians have been tagged with a violent image because of this but I have found them to be friendly hard working people.The more time I spend here the more I realise how much we are all the same.They go to the supermarkets at the weekend,they drink with friends after work.They have iphones and  there all on facebook.They like to spend time with there families.On sunday the city is empty because everyone stays indoors with there family.I have been told not to wander about to much on my own on a sunday as the winos and junkies are the only people out and about on a sunday.I have only had one person offer me cocaine since I got here.The majority of Colombians  have seen the misery cocaine brought to there country so they don't want it to happen again.Even before I arrived in Colombia I have always thought that drugs should be legalised.Now I am sure this is the correct way forward.They cant stop the drug trade, its supply and demand.The only people who gain from it are the drug barons.If people want to sniff a few lines at the weekend when they are having a drink then that's fine by me.Alcohol is a drug and so are cigarettes.Not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic the same as not everyone who sniffs coke is a coke addict.Let people make there own choices.They are all grown ups and they know the risks.The Colombian prime minister has said he would be open to talking with other countries about the legalisation of drugs.The US and the UK are the two biggest users of cocaine in the world.As far back as 1998, the former head of Scotland Yards Anti-drug squad, Edward Ellison, was saying that all drugs should be legalised.If the fucking head of Scotland Yard is saying it then surely its worth looking into.The money generated from taxing cocaine could be spent on new schools and hospitals.If Pablo Escobar was the 7th richest man in the world  by flying a few planes full of coke to the US every day then think how much money would be made if it was legit.Its never going to stop.Don't get me wrong theres plenty of people sniffing coke in Colombia.At £6 a gram for the kind of shit that will blow your head off I can see why.But theres more people in the US and UK sniffing coke than there is here.Nothing will stop The White Gold,as they call it,reaching the UK.They might aswell legalise it.Its something I am sure will happen one day.
In the words of Keith Richards  "Ive never had a problem with drugs,Ive had problems with the police"